


Cold As Ice

by orphan_account



Category: Ylvis
Genre: Food Fight, M/M, Sibling Incest, it was 1st april I had to pull a prank, this is actually fuff bye
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-01
Updated: 2014-04-01
Packaged: 2018-01-17 19:35:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1399897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Oh man, I just felt the need for some angst, I had to write it. </p><p>This was written in a hurry on my phone, it hasn't even been reread so apologies if there are any spelling errors! </p><p>It's been forever since I wrote angst, please tell me how I did in the comments!</p>
    </blockquote>





	Cold As Ice

**Author's Note:**

> Oh man, I just felt the need for some angst, I had to write it. 
> 
> This was written in a hurry on my phone, it hasn't even been reread so apologies if there are any spelling errors! 
> 
> It's been forever since I wrote angst, please tell me how I did in the comments!

It was movie night. Being home alone together meant watching an action movie with the sound blasting loudly, the lights dimmed, and eating ice cream from the tray.  
The two brothers sat on the sofa, knees touching as they scooped the ice out and ate it, not saying anything as their eyes darted over the screen, absently putting the spoons with the melting cream into their mouths. 

In all honesty, Bård didn't really care for this action movie, but Vegard had wanted to watch it -probably because of the airplane scenes- and so Bård had agreed on watching it with him.  
It wasn't hard for him to tear his eyes from the screen, turning his head to look at his brothers face. 

Vegard was fully focusing on the movie, eyes big and and face lit up by the lights from the screen, and he was licking the spoon absently, tongue lapping up the white liquid as he put it into his mouth. It was very distracting, and very suggestive, Bård could feel his mouth open slightly as he continued watching him.

It wasn't until a cool sensation spread on his knee that he was pulled out of the trance Vegards awfully suggestive spoon licking had put him under, and he yelped as he dropped his spoon, which had been dripping ice onto his pants. 

Vegard looked over at him and snorted. "Good job," he chuckled as he scooped up another spoon of ice and ate it.  
"Shut up," Bård muttered, looking at the mess on his leg. Vegards continuous snickering was bothering him, and he glared at him for a short while as Vegard smiled cheekily, and then Bård scooped up the ice on his leg and wiped it onto Vegard's nose, wiping the mischievous expression on his face off as well.

"Hey!" Vegard frowned, flicking his spoon at Bård, the lump of cream clashing into Bård's forehead with a sloppy smack.

Vegard's expression went from annoyed to generally scared, as he realized what he'd done. Bård squinted as the white liquid ran down the bridge of his nose, and then all hell broke loose.

It turned into a real food battle, Bård smothering Vegard's face with a hand full of vanilla ice cream, and Vegard in turn taking the strawberry ice cream and dropping it bottom up into Bård's hair, and soon they both were a sticky mess, hair crusting and skin covered with melty cream of all sorts of colours.

When they both finally calmed down, they looked at the mess around them. The sofa was ruined, the floor around them was covered with ice cream, and there was even some on the wall behind them.

"Mom is gonna kill us," Vegard muttered, looking dowm into his lap. "This is all your fault!"  
Bård sent him an angry scowl. "You didn't have to laugh at me!"  
"Well you didn't have to overreact like that!" Vegard protested.  
"Just shut up, or I'll lick you!" Bård snapped, and then grinned.  
Vegard laughed as well, a little wary, but he raised an eyebrow at his little brother. "What?"  
"You heard me. I'll lick you unless you stop accusing me of something that was obviously your fault!" Bård made a face at Vegard.

"My fault? You're saying this was my fault? Y- aaaaahhh!" Vegard exclaimed as Bård had leaned in and licked his cheek. 

"You taste like strawberry licorice," Bård champed his mouth as he tasted the ice cream he'd licked off Vegard's skin.  
"Maybe that's because you smeared strawberry and licorice ice cream all over me!" Vegard pouted, wiping his cheek with the back of his hand.

"Shut up," Bård said.

"No, I'm done with your tyranny, this was your fault, you're cleaning this up, before mom co-" Vegard was cut short as Bård lunged forwards and pressed him down in the sofa, a groaned 'oof' coming from him as Bård pressed his entire weight down on Vegard.

"Bård! Get off me!" Vegard wheezed with a laugh.  
"Mmmm... how about no?" Bård grinned cheekily before he lulled out his tongue, taking a long lick up the side of Vegard's face. 

"Aaahh gross! Stop!" Vegard scrunched his face and turned his head farther away from his brother.

"Nope. Apparently my tyranny is annoying so now you gotta be punished." Bård smirked. "You taste very sweet." He added, before planting a sloppy wet kiss on his cheek, a loud smack sounding.

Vegard wanted to fight, but Bård had him pinned down and every time Bård's tongue darted out and licked him, his mind went blank in a mixture of disgust and something else he couldn't really explain. 

"Mmm, vanilla, that's my favorite," Bård noted, dipping his head down and licking Vegard's jaw and sliding it down his exposed neck.  
Vegard breath caught in his throat, he felt his cheeks start to blush, and a faint prickly sensation followed the trail of Bård's tongue.

"Bård-" he whispered, his mind clouded. Surely this wasn't the way things were supposed to go, they had been arguing and fighting and now Bård was hungrily lapping and sucking on his neck, which was even stranger as they were brothers, but the strangest thing was that Vegard was allowing it. 

Vegard managed to free his hands, guiding them up under Bård's shirt and keeping them on his bare sides - there was ice cream there as well - and he bared his throat more, craning his neck as Bård licked his skin. He was practically purring with delight as his mouth moved over Vegard's throat, tasting the sticky sweetness on his skin, lips trailing up to his chin, and Vegard saw how he had closed his eyes. 

Vegard saw his chance to gain the upper hand, and with a sudden jerk, he tipped them over, laughing as he saw Bård's eyes snap open as they fell to the floor with a thud. Now Vegard was on top, and Bård was too shocked and breathless to do anything about it.

Copying Bård, he licked his face, making sure to make the lick as disgusting and wet as possible as his tongue trailed over his cheek.

"Stop! Stop stop stop stop!" Bård protested, trying to squirm away under his brothers payback, but Vegard was relentless and ended up quieting him with a kiss, that came just as shocking to Vegard as to Bård.  
The soft feel of Bårds lips, moving against his own, had shivers running down his spine, and the taste of his mouth was sweeter than the ice cream on his skin. It was like everything flipped upside down, what was wrong seemed right and this was definitely wrong, but feeling Bård's quick puffs of air against his lips as they moved together made it all drown away and it all seemed so right.

Their mouths parted slowly, and their eyes met gingerly, both a little starstruck and shocked at.. just how good it felt! Bård's eyes darted down to Vegard's mouth, he wanted to close the little gap between them again, his lips were buzzing faintly from the previous kiss, and he wanted to feel it again. 

Vegard felt the same, he could so easily bend down and kiss him, but it wasn't right. They were brothers, and if they were caught- oh god if their mom came home and found them like this- Vegard felt sick at the thought, dread ripping through his body.  
Bård noticed how the look in Vegard's eyes changed, and in a state of rushed panic he leaned up and heir heads bumped together as he kissed him, teeth clashing when Vegard responded - a little hesitantly - by opening his mouth and kissing back.

Vegard felt Bård's hands on his shirt, his fingers pulling on it as his tongue met Vegards, and he moaned quietly into his mouth as it happened, making the short hairs on Vegard's arms stand on edge.  
Guess he'd have to take a chance, hopefully their mom wouldn't be home early, and hopefully they'd have time to clean up their mess, if the couch even was saveable.

Bård's sticky hands slid up into his brothers hair, and Vegard felt how his curly locks stuck to his skin, the drying ice cream in his hair making it very hard for Bård to remove them again when he realized what a hassle it would be. 

He somehow managed to pull them out, with a whiny protest from Vegard, who lost a few strands of hair in the progress. 

Vegard broke the kiss and did his best to ignore the dull pain in the scalp of his head, and instead moved down to Bård's neck, swiping the cream away from Bård's warm skin with his tongue and sucking gently, feeling the tender flesh pulsate under his lips as he left a little bruise.

"Mom's gonna wonder where that came from," Bård said quietly, the sound of his voice vibrating against Vegard's lips on his throat.  
Vegard made a quick noise in recognition. "Guess I'll have to do it somewhere she won't see, then."

And with that, he moved even lower and lifted Bård's shirt, looking up at Bård from under his dark eyelashes as he lowered his head and kissed his stomach. He saw how bård reacted, his stomach jumping slightly, and goosebumps spread across his skin.  
He ghosted his lips over Bård's warm skin, passing his navel and the faint trail of light hair that disappeared into his pants, and planted a kiss on the side of his stomach, right above his hipbone. He heard Vård giggle faintly at the action, he'd always been ticklish, but he carried on, sucking on his skin until a red flushing bruise appeared, and continued doing so a few times, until a dotted line of hickeys followed the v line on his lower stomach.

A new idea formed in his mind, one that appeared as his lips brushed over his skin and bårds breath hitched in a giggle, and he pressed his lips onto Bård's stomach, blowing harshly. The sound bubbled like farting noises of his skin, and bård practically shrieked, laughing loudly and trying to push him away immediately. 

"Vegard, no-o-o!" He laughed, arching his back and squirming away, kicking and screaming while Vegard kept blowing on his skin, until he finally managed to shove his brother away and sit up.

Vegard licked his lips. "How did you manage to get ice cream on your stomach?" His lips were buzzing from blowing raspberries on Bård's belly.  
Bård shrugged. "It's your fault." He said breathlessly, his hair a mess that he couldn't do anything about. 

He scooted closer to Vegard again, a little hesitant as he didn't want to be tickled again, but when Vegard didn't do anything other than look at him and nibble on his own lower lip with a little frown on his face, he leaned in closer for another kiss. He smiled into the kiss as Vegard pressed on, meeting his lips halfway, their movements slow and their breaths a little quick.  
The movie that was playing had been long forgotten, and the credits were rolling by unnoticed as the two brothers sat on the floor, completely oblivious to their surroundings and utterly lost in each other.

"It's still your fault though." Bård said when he pulled away, a cheeky smile tugging on the corners of his mouth.  
"Don't start with that again!" Vegard shot Bård a glare, which Bård returned with laughter in his eyes.

"We need to clean this up..." Vegard mumbled, mostly to himself, as he opened and closed his hand and watched his skin stick to itself because of the ice cream.

"I need a shower," Bård saw his chance to leave, and stood up quickly.  
"Wha- you gotta help me clean this mess up!" Vegard said, looking up at his brother. 

"Naah," Bård winced his nose at the stickiness of his skin, and pulled off his shirt without hesitation, throwing it right into his brothers face.  
"You're an ass." Vegard frowned, peeling the t-shirt of his face. 

"Well... yeah," Bård blew a kiss in the air at him. "But the way I see it, you can sit there on the floor and sulk while you clean it up..."

"Or?" Vegard caught that something was still unsaid, and bård was wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. 

"Or you can come join me," Bård said quickly, his reddening ears revealed how embarrassed he was for saying this.  
He left the room in a rush, and the bathroom door opening sounded loudly through the empty house. Vegard sat quietly for a moment, he heard how the water started running, and then got up on his feet, cautiously heading for the bathroom with Bårds dirty t-shirt in his hand.

**Author's Note:**

> Hahahah april fooled you suckers ♡


End file.
